a word a day

     I  subscribe to a fun and informative website called “A Word A Day” and  submit a limerick for each of the (mostly very obscure) words they  suggest. They do give meanings, parts of speech, examples, etc, but  trust me, the words are challenging!  Sometimes my lims  appear on  their end-of-the-week list of “chosen”ones; these next  three examples  were, one each, chosen for the following words: 

DRAGGLETAILED

What a draggletailed miscreant, he,

My new office hand, turned out to be!

I must get to the service

And tell them I’m nervous

What’s the background of that employee?

HUMDINGER

That election was quite a humdinger!

Joe, my neighbor, became a right-winger.

So now when we meet

I just beat a retreat

Or else wave with a nice middle finger

BALLYHOO

Of course there’s a huge ballyhoo

To impeach Donald Trump -- wouldn’t you?

This prez is a guy

Who would spit in the eye

Of an immigrant toddler with flu!

RIPSNORTER

They may call you a dreadful old hoarder

If you never throw out what you order,

And the rooms of your dwelling

Are buckling and smelling --

Let’s say you’re a saving ripsnorter!

SAYONARA #1

“If it must be that way...” (sigh)...farewell!

We do what the fates will foretell...

We’ll say sayonara

And then, come tomorra--

We’ll whoop it up, naughty as hell!"

SAYONARA #2

"Sayonara, my dear, I’m no bride."

“But Baby, can’t I stay inside?

The snow’s mighty deep

Why can’t I just  sleep—?”

"Cause my Daddy has got cyanide!"

SEAT-OF-THE-PANTS

Oh, please not that news counterfeiter!

Nobody addicted to Twitter!

And no one who rants

By the seat of his pants—

Let’s not re-elect that bull——ter!

BREWSTERED 

Ms. Schuster was known not to gamble;

One night without any preamble

The casino got Schustered

And Schuster got brewstered!

And everyone’s brains seemed to scramble!

ORIGAMI

My part Jewish/part Japanese friend
Has a deli down in the east end
He serves his pastrami
With rice origami
I think it might start a new trend!

PHENOM

“Hey mom—mom mom mom—look and see, mom!

It’s the champion wrestling phenom!

It’s who we came to see!

Except I’ve got to pee!

OMG! I’ve just got to go pee, mom!"

HORSE SENSE

Okay (heave a sigh), I am ready

For the onslaught of rhymes, sure and steady

On the President’s coarse bents

And complete lack of horse sense—

Yes, it’s true, but they’re sometimes so petty!

SILVER SPOON

Have you ever had tablespoons crumple? 

A dishwasher may make one rumple
But no silver spoon
Will go shapeless as soon 

As bad rallies for poor Donald Trump’ll! 

PUGNACIOUS

I’m looking up rhymes for "pugnacious"

Funk & Wagnalls does not have "hellacious"—

What? There’s no such word?

Well, that’s just absurd!

Ah! Google is more perspicacious!

HALIFAX #1

We weren’t allowed to swear, no,

So we finessed it like so:

“Go to hell” wasn’t us—

“Go to Halifax, Gus!”

(No one’s gone there as far as I know!)

HALIFAX #2

The Brits used a name of its own

For  where all  the bad guys were goin'

But here, the  Jukes and the Kallikaks

Were destined for Halifax

If only the poor guys had known!