I subscribe to a fun and informative website called “A Word A Day” and submit a limerick for each of the (mostly very obscure) words they suggest. They do give meanings, parts of speech, examples, etc, but trust me, the words are challenging! Sometimes my lims appear on their end-of-the-week list of “chosen”ones; these next three examples were, one each, chosen for the following words:
What a draggletailed miscreant, he,
My new office hand, turned out to be!
I must get to the service
And tell them I’m nervous
What’s the background of that employee?
That election was quite a humdinger!
Joe, my neighbor, became a right-winger.
So now when we meet
I just beat a retreat
Or else wave with a nice middle finger
Of course there’s a huge ballyhoo
To impeach Donald Trump -- wouldn’t you?
This prez is a guy
Who would spit in the eye
Of an immigrant toddler with flu!
They may call you a dreadful old hoarder
If you never throw out what you order,
And the rooms of your dwelling
Are buckling and smelling --
Let’s say you’re a saving ripsnorter!
“If it must be that way...” (sigh)...farewell!
We do what the fates will foretell...
We’ll say sayonara
And then, come tomorra--
We’ll whoop it up, naughty as hell!"
"Sayonara, my dear, I’m no bride."
“But Baby, can’t I stay inside?
The snow’s mighty deep
Why can’t I just sleep—?”
"Cause my Daddy has got cyanide!"
Oh, please not that news counterfeiter!
Nobody addicted to Twitter!
And no one who rants
By the seat of his pants—
Let’s not re-elect that bull——ter!
Ms. Schuster was known not to gamble;
One night without any preamble
The casino got Schustered
And Schuster got brewstered!
And everyone’s brains seemed to scramble!
My part Jewish/part Japanese friend
Has a deli down in the east end
He serves his pastrami
With rice origami
I think it might start a new trend!
“Hey mom—mom mom mom—look and see, mom!
It’s the champion wrestling phenom!
It’s who we came to see!
Except I’ve got to pee!
OMG! I’ve just got to go pee, mom!"
Okay (heave a sigh), I am ready
For the onslaught of rhymes, sure and steady
On the President’s coarse bents
And complete lack of horse sense—
Yes, it’s true, but they’re sometimes so petty!
Have you ever had tablespoons crumple?
A dishwasher may make one rumple
But no silver spoon
Will go shapeless as soon
As bad rallies for poor Donald Trump’ll!
I’m looking up rhymes for "pugnacious"
Funk & Wagnalls does not have "hellacious"—
What? There’s no such word?
Well, that’s just absurd!
Ah! Google is more perspicacious!
We weren’t allowed to swear, no,
So we finessed it like so:
“Go to hell” wasn’t us—
“Go to Halifax, Gus!”
(No one’s gone there as far as I know!)
The Brits used a name of its own
For where all the bad guys were goin'
But here, the Jukes and the Kallikaks
Were destined for Halifax
If only the poor guys had known!